Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Dale's Unhappy





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My name is Dale and I'm a 53 yr old cancer victim. I had a radical robotic prosectamy done in Feb. 05. After waiting a year for a hint of my normal self I resorted to pumps, pills etc.. no luck. The pump brought him to life but the rings wouldn't keep him there. After a year or so of this I found a woman who was willing to help me deal with it. With her help, she loved oral, I began to regain some stiffness. She said as long as it was in her mouth it grew and stayed firm. But I was impatient, I wanted intercourse. So I read all I could on the implant and set it up. Maybe I'm being too hard (no pun intended) on the doc but this is crazy. I went from a 2 fister to less than 1. Now I've been told that lots of men are about this size and they are healthy. All that may be true but all and I mean all the brochures, all the web sites promote the stats of only losing cm's not inches. And it also feels so weird. I can feel what to me feel like joints? It it no way feels natural. And all the talk about increased girth. Ha, I lost nearly half of that and what I have feels like two chop sticks coverd in skin. No roundness at all. Now maybe I'm just being vain but I'm embarrassed. I'm so disgusted by the sight of it I won't even pump it up to stretch it. I just want it gone. I would rather be impotent with at least the memory of being a normal man than look or feel this thumb sticking out of my gut.
Maybe at this point in time I should wait before I talk because my anger is still so fresh but I'm afraid of not doing anthing. But all I get from most medical people is platitudes of "oh you will find it works just fine", "you'll get used to it" and "give it time". So I'm supposed to just do nothing for a year or so and then start fussing?
I feel I was lied to and mislead from the beginning and I want to lash out at the whole system.
Sorry I'm not one of your "I'm so happy" stories. The truth is I doubt this will get printed at all because I assume this is just a front for the AMS people. I guess I'll soon know!!

Dale

Okay Dale:
I printed it. Feel Better now?
I did a search through almost 9,000 emails that I have received and answered and didn’t find a single email from you going back two and a half years. You’ve been venting your sarcasm at me for the past week. Too bad you didn’t read very far in my blog or you would have read my discussion about loss of size in prostatectomy patients. I discussed it in many posts and the fact that I discussed it with my own personal Urologist. I’ve talked about the fact that one out of three men who have a radical prostatectomy loose significant length do to this procedure. I have my two cents opinion on the reasons for it. If you had bothered to read this blog back, you would have been warned about this. If a marathon runner breaks their leg and the doctor put the leg in a cast, for say 4 to 5 years and that body part didn’t get used in all that time, the leg is going to atrophy. Use it or loose it.

In other words, I say it in several posts on this blog. I recommend that at a minimum anyone contemplating penile implant surgery to obtain a good quality vacuum erection device prior to having surgery and use it twice a day for 10 to 20 minutes achieving a good firm erection for a bare minimum of two month before surgery. The European Society of Urologists recommends this. You didn’t bother to read my blog, yet you’ve vented your anger and sarcasm towards me. Dale, this is my blog. It is not affiliated in any way with AMS Medical or Coloplast. Life happens and you’ve lived a lot of years with time and disease taking its toll on your body. Your surgeon saved your life in 2005. Believe me; you don’t want to die of prostate cancer. Towards the end you will beg for death as the disease spreads into the pelvic bone and up into the spine and the pain is indescribable. That said, you lost 2 to 3 centimeters of your ureter that used to be in your prostate. Your surgeon relocated your bladder lower into your abdomen and then reattached the ends. The body tends to push the bladder back where it used to be pulling your penis back into your body. 4 years of your penis remaining inside your body has left your muscle, your penis, badly atrophied.

This blog is my personal attempt to share information with other men about life with a penile implant. I feel bad for you up to a point. There have been dozens of studies on satisfaction with penile implants. The published rate is 92% to 94%. Satisfaction is in the eye of the beholder. You make the charge that you were lied to and mislead. In what way? By whom? Not by me. I’ve been upfront on this subject. Your doctor? I recall the paperwork that I signed and read including the part about a whole range of possibilities and warnings. You have excoriated me over your failed surgery. Buddy, I posted dozens of pictures of myself and several dozen pictures of guys who volunteered their stories on this blog out of the goodness of their hearts. They are true stories by guys who have lived them. None of us made a dime to do this. So guess what Dale, it’s time to man up and climb down off of your pity party. The penile implants that are available to us have enabled thousands of us to resume normal sexual relationships once again in our lives. I sincerely hope that this works out for you eventually.
Bob

6 comments:

  1. Bob
    It appears Dale went into surgery with unrealestic expectations and did not do his own research. All the years of doing nothing hurt him. VED thearpy would have made a lot of differance.
    He needs to inflate the implant twice a day for at least 5 minutes for the implant to reach maximum size, this can take up to 18 months according to my doctor.
    It also appears he did not screen his doctor very well. A good Male Sexual Function doctor would have told him all this on the front end, mine did.
    All the anger in the would will not bring him back to his pre PCa condition, just like it would not my pre peyronies.
    Like you I do not represent any company just state my condition. I could go around crying that I have lost size to peyronies but I am happy to be sexually active and feel Normal again.
    Jackp

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  2. Bob,
    Your blog offers an EXTREMELY valuable service to men (& their wives) considering implants. I struggled with the decision after I contracted Peyronies. (I have been a Family Nurse Practitioner since 1981 & had never even heard of PD) The doctors that I saw told the that there was "Nothing" to be done for my problem, Thanks to your website, my wife (also a RN) and I were able to make an INFORMED decision about an implant. I am now 6 months post-op, have regained my original girth, and 1/2 of the length that PD scar tissue took from me. Your site + JackP have restored sexual intimacy to my 35 year marriage. On behalf of those of us that are usually quiet readers of your blog, THANK YOU for all the work that you put into this site.
    take care,
    gramps

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  3. Bob and Dale,

    Is it possible to use VED post-implant to relengthen the penis? Maybe you could use VED now and get a revision. Perhaps you were missized Dale, like Courtney who used Perito in Florida was. Bob, I agree that Dale's reaction towards you is inappropriate, but perhaps there is still something to be done to help?

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  4. Just to set the record straight I in no way meant any coments toward Bob. I found this site after the surgery and only wish I had read it before. Had I only been that lucky. I only read the info I was given by the doc. I thought posting my story would help promote others into digging harder for infomation and not ending up like me. I didn't mean for it to be directed towards anyone person or group. My anger is at myself.

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  5. Do Not use a VED once you have an implant. I checked with AMS and they say it can harm the implant as well as your penis.

    Dale, there is hope and help. You just need to find the right doctor. I did and now I am Normal again.

    Jackp

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  6. Dale,
    I understand your frustration with the current state of your penis. I was disappointed with my length immediately post-op, as I lost 33%- due to Peyronie's scarring & venous collapse. I have "reclaimed" 70% of my loss in 7 months; but you MUST inflate it twice daily to get that result.(thanks, JackP) It is unclear to me if you had PD or not, but two STIFF chopsticks is better than the little boomerang that I had before the surgery.

    I know you were blowing off steam, & I think this group understands that, but don't give up on it. We would all like to have the penis we had when we were 20 (hell, I would like to have the entire body), but we have to learn to live with the penis we have now.

    All I know is this- when I am inside the warm embrace of my wife, nothing else matters. I missed that terribly before the implant.

    I wish you well,
    gramps

    ReplyDelete